I always come back to this space to process and mark the downfalls of life. The last six months have seen continuous knock back after knock back. Not even really just ‘knock backs’, but entire walls of everything I’d built crumbling down, with one bad piece of news after another being delivered relentlessly to me.
As a whole, I can appreciate the majority of 2020 hasn’t exactly been peachy for anyone. I wish I could take solace in the fact the entire globe is living the same reality of this pandemic. In my immediate circles, though, I seem to have taken the brunt of the bad luck.
I lost my job and subsequently moved out of my flat in London. I lost the life I’d built myself having finally achieved it only a year prior. In more recent times, my two year relationship ended. The worst part – though sometimes it feels like a glimmer of good (it changes every day) – is that that love was not entirely lost. To me, that seems like a great shame, to throw something away when we still had love for each other. To not consider where we might be if the pandemic hadn’t happened, that this is all just circumstantial and not a reason to throw so much time away.