Dealing with failure

As of late, it feels like I’ve been getting a lot of knock-backs. Thankfully I’m a lot better off in myself than I was maybe even this time last year that my bones aren’t aching from barely clinging on. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t any less difficult to take. In a lot of ways I’ve been quite lucky in that for whatever reason, whether good timing or the hard work put in (give credit where credit is due, c’mon), I’ve generally landed on my feet. Now though it seems a bit like life is kicking me in the butt.

“Oh, you’re feeling somewhat stable now? Take that!”

To add to the growing list, I failed my theory test. Well, I failed it by the necessary marks needed to, you know, pass it. But in my eyes, I actually kind of smashed it. (I failed by one mark and I expected a lot, lot worse.)

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A love letter to Prague

I’ve been away. Not just away frolicking in Prague, but away from this space. I’ve actually been away from it getting on for four months and, having carved out this safe space that I loved confiding in… Well, being away from it has been daunting. More so, it’s daunting to return back, tail metaphorically between my legs, not knowing where to start or how. So I’m not doing that yet, partly because I don’t entirely know what changed. I felt distant from it all, and since then I’ve maybe started falling. Falling in a lot of respects. Falling in like, falling out of habits. Sometimes falling apart. I’ve been distracted. That’s probably the best way to put it with a neat little bow. But I want to slowly get back to this thing, whatever it is that I do here. So I wanted to talk about my time in Prague. Though as always it’ll likely be a mess of words in my head than anything informative or noteworthy. I’m not trying to be a travel writer here, so… maybe by all means stick around to hear me reflecting, but I won’t be offended if you look for tips elsewhere.

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The month of April

Another month has passed and I’m still feeling a little uninspired? I’ve even been sort of absent on my socials, which is… odd for me. I scroll and I scroll everyday and I’m just so bored of it all. Does anyone else get like that? In a matter of no time, I’m almost certain I’ll be back on my game and feeling involved again, but right now I feel a little floaty to say the least. Maybe there needs to be some change around here? I just don’t know. Anyway. April. April was fun. And here’s some of that.

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Hey body, looks like we’re fighting

Here’s a revolutionary statement: Why can’t we put two fingers in the air and just say ‘Guess what? I love myself! I’m a bombass human. I look great. And beyond all this wobbly, stretchy skin stuff, I’m also pretty darn good on the inside, too’? Yes, I may have listened to ‘The Greatest Showman’ soundtrack one too many times (as if that’s a thing you can overdo), but I’ve been thinking and feeling a whole lot of this for a while. Excuse my French, but seriously. Fuck. This. How dare we build up and validate a society and a narrative that tells us we shouldn’t like ourselves, that we should constantly be trying to make unrealistic changes that aren’t obtainable or do-able or, you know, fair? Honestly, get out. And jolly well close the door behind you.

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