Another month has passed and I’m still feeling a little uninspired? I’ve even been sort of absent on my socials, which is… odd for me. I scroll and I scroll everyday and I’m just so bored of it all. Does anyone else get like that? In a matter of no time, I’m almost certain I’ll be back on my game and feeling involved again, but right now I feel a little floaty to say the least. Maybe there needs to be some change around here? I just don’t know. Anyway. April. April was fun. And here’s some of that.
Here’s a revolutionary statement: Why can’t we put two fingers in the air and just say ‘Guess what? I love myself! I’m a bombass human. I look great. And beyond all this wobbly, stretchy skin stuff, I’m also pretty darn good on the inside, too’? Yes, I may have listened to ‘The Greatest Showman’ soundtrack one too many times (as if that’s a thing you can overdo), but I’ve been thinking and feeling a whole lot of this for a while. Excuse my French, but seriously. Fuck. This. How dare we build up and validate a society and a narrative that tells us we shouldn’t like ourselves, that we should constantly be trying to make unrealistic changes that aren’t obtainable or do-able or, you know, fair? Honestly, get out. And jolly well close the door behind you.
Ever since I started working full time 10 months ago, my weekends and evenings have become sacred. Whilst I spend every other evening (or two at the moment, because I’m trying but probably not enough) at the gym on weekdays, my weekends have become all about filling the time with all the things I want and need to do. At the same time I want to be able to relax and savour my freedom and just make my little heart happy. But, weirdly, it’s not always easy to do the things you want to do? You guilt trip yourself into thinking you’re being lazy, or waste time doing a lot of nothing — which is good self care when you really need it, but not when you’re just feeling uninspired and…lazy…?
I’m losing you, I can see that. But hold up just a second, because I think my self care practices are pretty good. And this is likely the first of many, so keep a watch out.
I’m feeling very uninspired at the moment, which you can probably tell from the echo around these parts of the internet. The arrival of April brings some relief, being able to grapple onto a sense of consistency with my usual wrap-up. I’m hoping things will be back to semi-regular content soon. But, for now, let’s talk about March. March was snowy, spring-like, but mostly rain. Apart from that, it was mostly uneventful. Between in-depth Bumble conversations that led nowhere, work and actually quite a lot of books, it was pretty on par with February and that whole ‘you were a kind month’ thing I was banging on about this time last month. April, though. That’s going to be a happening month. And hopefully it’ll inspire some more words. Watch this space.