Welcome to the November round-up! I am in a constant state of December-disbelief. How is it December? Where did 2017 go? But also… Oh my god, it’s nearly Christmas! Honestly, I don’t feel super Christmassy yet, although all the lights in Bath and Christmas songs on the radio make me very happy. It even snowed today, so I’m not sure where my festive spirit got to, but I’m sure it’ll be in full swing soon. As for November, like 2017 I’m not sure where that went. Seems like a blur of working and sitting on buses commuting. But somewhere tucked in there was the majority of my trip to Manchester, going to Liverpool at the end of the month and turning 23 right at the end there. So here’s that and some bookish things!
As you can tell from the title — and if you happen to be a regular reader of my here blog — (if so, hello, I love you and appreciate you), then you’ll know I missed out a month of my usual summary drawl. As months go, September wasn’t a bad one. In fact, it was relatively good. We moved offices at work to the gorgeous Milsom Street (not twenty metres from Waterstones, rejoice!), my mum had a lovely birthday induced with bubbles that made her all giggly. It was an alright kinda month. But then we lost my Nanny, somewhat suddenly and it cast a cloud over me and my family, and, like any loss, continues to because it doesn’t just miraculously get better and fix itself. It’s a gaping hole for us all and I know it’ll creep up on me as I go about life, living moments she won’t be able to live with me. She won’t be able to live the day I might get married or have kids quite like she did the days I talked excitedly about my plans for university and the day I called her on the landline to tell her I’d got a First Class Degree. And, to put it bluntly, that sucks. She had such a presence in our community that I’m still struggling to grasp not bumping into her in town, weeding the sides of the roads as she so often did. So that’s why I’ve not been around. But I’m here now and I’d like to update you as usual on September and October.
I’ve been pretty bad at blogging this month and I think maybe that has to do with the fact I let go of this huge weight of pent up feelings and everything in me was saying to run for the hills and hide away. I burned myself out with those words. Just for a little bit. And although I think the path will continue to be a long one, there may be a small part of me that is finally properly healing. So August has been about that in part, and in looking after and doing the most for me, myself and I. I would urge any of you reading this to do the same. We deserve it.
Is it bad that with July drawing to a close, I’m becoming more and more aware of just how close autumn is and, wait for it, Christmas. Okay, okay, I won’t be that person, but I am stupidly excited about the leaves changing and reaching for scarves and knitted jumpers. I love layering up and wearing cosy clothes. As happy as the sunlight makes me, as much as I love, love, love those scents of freshly mown grass and hot tarmac that’s been beaten down on all day long, crisp mornings and frosted edges are more my thing. I am a winter baby after all. I’m more comfortable in the cooler months, partly because wearing anything remotely exposing is a tad difficult with my body image issues, but just… Orange and yellow leaves, pumpkin picking, candles and fairylights and holding a hot chocolate takeaway cup in your hands, letting the heat bleed into your palms. It’s all good stuff and I am about it. Obviously July didn’t bring any of that (I am the Queen of tangents), but I guess whilst we’re talking about July moods… my autumn af-ness is shining through.