A cloud of thoughts


This past week has been a very ‘thinky’ one for me. That’s the only way I know best to describe it. Various things have happened that have stopped me in my tracks and I guess the most obvious one, that everybody has been blogging about (and rightly so), is the passing of Robin Williams. I was up very late on Sunday night (or rather up very, very early Monday morning) and I flicked on Twitter to find streams and streams of tweets writing about their shock and condolences. And, I mean no one could have predicted it but, I was so shocked and saddened to read about it. A lot of the things being said are how devastatingly ironic it is that he was a man that made so many people incredibly happy, but the one person he couldn’t make happy was himself. 

One very slim, faint glimmer that comes from the death of a man, taken far too early, is the awareness it has cast on mental illness. Robin Williams was a shining light of hope and will continue to be even now he’s gone, but there was clearly a lot going on beyond the surface. And that just goes to show how easy it is to pretend you’re okay — by painting on a smile. Therefore anyone could be suffering, you just don’t know and you should be considerate of that and not brush off when somebody says they’re struggling with depression or another mental illness. Just because it’s not written across their forehead, doesn’t mean it’s not there lurking behind their eyes. (Also I read this really interesting article about suicide and mental illness that I think everyone should read.)

Another sad, and very troublesome, event is the shooting of Mike Brown in Ferguson, St Louis, a reportedly unarmed African American that was shot multiple times by a police officer. This sparked peaceful protests outside police stations and, although unprovoked, police have shot at protestors with rubber bullets, as well as using teargas against them. I remember studying the Civil Rights movements for my GCSEs, and reading articles about the horrific events going on in Ferguson sounded exactly like the sorts of things I studied and learned about from textbooks. Sadly, though, this is all happening in the present day.

It’s a very frustrating to me, because the way people are treated depending on their skin is such a ridiculous idea. ‘White supremacy’ should never have been a thing, and I really do not understand where the idea that white people are better came about. I mean, of course I do. I studied History until I was eighteen, so I’ve learnt about slavery and the like. But it’s something that I still find hard to fathom and that I feel so angry about. And as much as I want to hold my hands up and say ‘I’m not that kind of person just because I’m white’ white people can’t deny they are constantly gaining from this whack social structure.

And lastly, to leave you on a much lighter note (sorry, I’m aware this probably wasn’t something people wanted to read, but the title gave fair warning), I reflected on the fact that — on Friday — it was a year ago since I had a very sleepless night and then found out I got a place in my first choice university. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again just how insanely fast time has flown by since discovering I’d finally done enough to get where I wanted to be. And first year was such a roller coaster of a time that second year honestly can’t come fast enough. To this day, I am so proud of myself and I guess the next big goal is graduating — but lets not talk about that just yet, because that makes me a little queasy.

Sorry if this post wasn’t your cup of tea, I just have a lot of feelings (name that quote!). Also apologies for lack of blogging once again — I got a bit of summer work that’s sucked all creativity outta me!

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